My current song

Dugaanku-Ning Baizura

hati pedih menangis,
jiwaku yang suram,
malam yang panjang,
ingin aku bersendirian.

merenung kehidupan,
memikir kesudahan,
pada siapakah hendak ku curah,
keresahanku.

aku berpaut pada sejengkal tali cuma,
itulah yang ada sementara aku hidup di dunia ini,
inikah dugaanku,
inikah kesempatan,
haruskah ku terus atau membiarkan ianya berlalu.

dekat didepan mata,
berat meluah kata,
terpendam segala apa dirasa,
sekian lama ini.

apakah kita nanti,
tiada dapat serasi,
ataukah hanya aku bermimpi,
untuk memiliki.

aku berpaut pada sejengkal tali cuma,
itulah yang ada sementara aku hidup di dunia ini,
inikah…

Raya Haji Lunch

Hi yawls and salam jumaat to all my dear readers!

so last sunday on raya haji i hosted a raya lunch for my cousins and nieces
mind you, i have families here too u know hahaa
at first i was clueless nak buat ke tak but i love gatherings makan2
kalau tak buat i nak raya ngan sape?
kesian kan hopefully by next year i dah ada geng raya la eh if u get what i mean :)

so i dah decide nak masak ape hehe

• nasik minyak
• ayam merah
• acar mentah
• baked macaroni

i dah sediakan all the bahan pada malam sabtu tu

semua yg nak kena potong, hiris semua i dah prepare

especially nak buat acar mentah tu kan

fuhh dia punya renyah nak buat

for that day acar mentah tu i buat 2 batang timun and 2 batang carrot je

tapi nak hiris2 tu fuhhh lamaaaa nak abiskan hahaha

since semua pun i dah prepare, the next morning i bgn masak je :)

mula2 i buat acar dulu sebab nak kena simpan dalam fridge kan

just campurkan semua hirisan timun, carrot, cili merah and bawang merah

masukkan cuka, gula and garam

siap!

next, i masak ayam merah

here it is!

yg ni i buat 6 pieces thighs+drumsticks

 the acar mentah

next, i buat baked macaroni plak

haa yang tu nanti i buat satu special post for it siap i letak recipe k

pastu i buat nasik minyak guna recipe paling senang

beras 6 cups cuci bersih then ketepikan 

3 sudu melted butter tumiskan with rempah 3 beradik (kayu manis, bunga lawang, cengkih)

masukkan daun pandan (tapi that day i dont put any sbb takde)

1 cup susu cair

1 sudu makan sunquick

kemudian masukkan the tumisan butter ke dlm beras, 1 cup susu cair and sunquick

then masak nasik seperti biasa

masukkan air dulu la cam biasa tu haaa :)

 my raya haji lunch spread

lepas makan we all snap gambar la ape lagi
pardon kalau nampak ada kotak ke apa kan
rumah kecik i ni takde sofa yawls
studio je kan hehe

 from left: fiqah my cuzzy with her bff, dr sab, me, firah and fatin my dear nieces

firah brought along creampuffs all the way from gombak okayyyy

dah la naik erl from kl sentral dengan kotak creampuffs tu mmg gigih betul

thanks firah! :)

alhamdulilah they love my cookings 

heres another one

owh fatin's boyfriend, izham also came

dorang sama tak fly so boleh la celebrate sekali

izham tu sampai 3 kali tambah makan baked macaroni hehe

around 4pm dorang gerak balik dah

so happy to have them around

family kan

dari kuching, now semua menetap sini dah

sempat amik gambar depan tangga my block plak

thanks for coming everyone
kak fieza really appreciate your time

till next makan makan at cyberjaya :)

Bubble Tea Story

Hi everyone!

How are you my dear readers?
How's life been treating you so far?
Mine is good alhamdulilah :)

Now kan since im all by myself, bila gaji jek siap tulis all my commitments
Bayar sewa rumah, all the bills myself, the groceries semua lah
Balance pun cukup2 makan je but everytime i settled semua tu kan, i feel so puas hati, so blessed
I belajar hidup sendiri. So far so good alhamdulilah :)

Hidup mesti happy kan?
Antara things that makes me happy is bubble tea :D

Lately ni viral je kan bubble tea ni
i suka tapi i had kan seminggu sekali je
sbb now i mmg hadkan kemanisan dalam minuman
kalau dalam senyuman takpe, gitewwww

so these are the lists of bubble teas thats ive tasted

1. Bang Bang Horlick Milktea Tealive

Yang ni sedap namampssss i mmg suka horlics and the taste of the bubbles are so yummsss
Tapi kena goncang kuat2 sbb horlick dia tak hancur lagi
Tealive kalau kat putrajaya ada kat alamanda
kat cyberjaya ada kat shaftbury belakang rumah je uols
masa ni i beli masa lepas i settled my laundry, singgah kejap beli
ya Allah dap sangat yawlllssss
harga yg kecik tu dlm RM7.50 kalau tak silap

ok next

2. Hercaa, Tamarind Square, Cyberjaya

This is Brown Sugar Bobo with Fresh Milk, RM9.90.
i had this last month masa tu lepak with fatin and boypren dia, izham
so izham ni tanya i nak ke tak, of course nak kalau org nak belanja kan hehe
this one i suka rasa bubble dia, daappp sangat!
and not that sweet
suka laaa this one, i akan repeat lagi! :)

3. Xing Fu Tang, Brown Sugar Boba Milk

Last week i went to IOI City Mall with azren after work
then we saw a small outlet of Xing Fu Tang dah bukak uols
terusssss masuk Q nasib baik la tak panjang kalau ramai mmg tak laaaa nak q semata kan
plus i memang teringin nak rasa sbb semuaaaa pun cakap bubble tea sini yang paling best :)
so for me memang sedap, bubbles dia buat live kat outlet tu.
plus ais dia banyak so puas betul menikmati
tapi kalau nak repeat, i prefer hercaa lagi.

4. Daboba, Bubble Milk Tea

ni i try masa kat mytown cheras. RM13.50 ke RM12 i cant remember tapi memang belas2 la
cup kecik je ponnn
i nampak org q terus laju2 masuk sbb teringin nak try
emm this one tak sedap rasa cam cendol
tapi cup dia lawa hahahaha

dlm empat ni yang paling i suka is tealive and hercaa
tealive sedap and tak mahal
kalau i air belas2 ni better i spend it at starbucks for my fav coffee or my fav hot choc at CB

kalau nak pk kan mahal nyaaa lah air sekarang ni
air cup kecik je dah belas2
tu baru minum tak masuk makan lagi
tapi kalau sebulan sekali takpelah kan
jangan minum selalu wehhh kang kena potong kaki iols tak tanggung

so sekian saja laporan bubble tea dari saya
oh ya one more thing, Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha
raya kat cyberjaya je thn ni tak blk kg pun hehehe

ok till next update!
have a nice weekends!

Sumpah

Jika harusku bersabar dengan segala derita
'Ku terima
Jika pahitnya terasa
Bagai dipenjara tanpa
Bicara 'ku rela

Cinta akan 'ku mengasihimu
Sehingga nadiku tiada lagi berlagu

Andai rembulan tidak lagi mampu bercahaya
Terangilah gelapku walau dalam gelita
Dengarkanlah aku
Jiwaku tulus untukmu

Jika harusku bersabar dengan segala derita
'Ku terima
Jika pahitnya terasa
Bagai dipenjara tanpa
Bicara 'ku rela

Cinta akan 'ku mengasihimu
Sehingga nadiku tiada lagi berlagu

Andai rembulan tidak lagi mampu bercahaya
Terangilah gelapku walau dalam gelita
Dengarkanlah aku
Jiwa 'ku tulus untukmu

'Ku harap kau mendengar apa yang
'Ku bisikan…

---------------------------------------------------------------

this is my favourite song at the moment

repeat mode manjang hahaha

kalau pegi keja ke balik keja ke tak pasang lagu ni tak sah uols

theres controversy behind this song's lyrics i heard

ada berkaitan dengan ex girlfriend si naim ni

tapi idk the details of it

i kalau gosip2 ni i malas layan

janji lagu ni best

kalau masuk final AJL, i nak pegi tk live next year! hahaha

im so single kan sampai dengar lagu camni i will be blank

tak tauuu nak imagine kan muka sapa

i dont even have a crush

i rasa kan, im not that lucky in relationship department i guess

kalau u dah lama baca my blog u will notice that i was a late bride

i was married at 31 after 10 relationships

dah kawen pun tak lasting, omg

i thought it was the lucky number ten! haha

banyak betul ranjau, duka lara, ujian for me to endure

but who i am to complain on whats Allah has destined for me?

i shouldnt question because i believe what i am facing now will bring me to a huge happiness that i might never imagine will be having

gitu.

mana la tau kan 

kuasa Allah is beyond our thinking

kalau Dia nak amik, sekelip mata je

camtu la jugak kalau Dia nak memberi, sampai tak sangka sangka rezeki sebegitu rupa yg bakal dtg

so for now im just enjoying my time, my peaceful single moment hehe

eh apeni cerita pasal lirik lagu melalut sampai cerita pasal takdir hidup plak haha

oklah till then orait!

xoxo

7 July 2019

7 July 2019,
im turning 36 years old, single, happy and content
so far my life is tenang walaupun tiada cinta but i know i loved by many
my notifications was flooded with bday wishes, im so touched hehe
thanks for all the wishes.
semoga apa yg didoakan kepada i, akan dimakbulkan. amin :)

on my birthday, my bestfriend; castro asked me out for movie and dinner
we went to GSC, IOI City Mall for toys story 4 using my free tickets (redeem bday)

abis wayang dah 10pm, IOI pun dah tutup so castro ajak pegi KL instead
iols dengar word KL pun dah teruja because i got the chance to see KLCC!
hahaha
thats my fav building of all time !!
kalau uols dah happykan i, bawak je pegi klcc, i will be very very happy haha

the weather that night was so nice so calm but a bit panasss
sampai tu pun dah lambat so cepat2 la order sbb i pun dah lapaaa gile dah time

i ordered lamb chop (my fav!) and castro with beef cheesy fries ke apa nama tah
lepas tu still lapar order lagi korean chicken
sedap gilaaaa

this is our desserts, churros with choc dip
sedap jugak tapi masa ni dah kenyang gila so weols makan dlm keta otw back tu

thanks castro for making time for me
ure indeed a very bestfriend of mine and im really lucky to have u
gambar bday girl takde k hahaha

oklah till then!

huge suprise(s)

Last friday i received a huge suprise
or should i say suprises?
:D

i was just came back from jualan jumaat at my ofc
masa jualan tu nampak la ada stall jual cakes and i was like "sedapnya kek tuuuu"
and window shopping la kat bawah tu tak beli apa pun just cuci mata :)

and then bila naik ofc, i saw two boxes on my table and i was sooo shocked haha
eh what is thisss people??? sape bagi niiiiiiiiiiiiiii i said and semua kat ofc tu tak ngaku ehhh
eee geram je
nak kata i ada peminat, mana mungkin kot eh mana lah tau eh takdeee kot haha

look at how yummy these cakes look :)

one pavlova and nother one is blueberry cheese

and then later i got msges from two people
pavlova is from izyan and the other cake is from mizi
both are my colleagues

awhhhh im so touched and feel so blessed :)
the cakes are so yummmm siap potong lepas tu and shared with others

hehe my birthday came early la kira
sbb friday dah celebrate potong kek :D

thanks guysss!
sayang korang sangat2 :)

my happy face hihi.
im wearing my new specs sempena raya aritu
nampak lain kan?
and i love it!

till next update yawlsss

p/s: feeling better now no more heartaches dah. im okay :)

Rejections

Hi dear readers!

its been a while, dah abis pun raya now dah masuk zulkaedah
next month dah raya haji pulak

emmm actually i wanted to share something here
i am back to dating world again
tak salah kan since im no longer anyone's wife now hahaha
its been nearly 9months since we decided to go part ways

early this year till recently, i went out with few guys
some are my mutual friends, some are strangers turn friends
ada yang interested to know me better but i plak tak minat
ada yang i like so much but he didnt see me as his future

to look for someone new is tiring
really
i thought i dah pencen kot dlm phase mencari cinta ni
its been 6 years that ive been in love with him, been loyal with only one man
i never have any interest to look for anyone else since he was my world
no matter how rocky our marriage was at the end of it
but jodoh adalah rahsia Allah
who would have known that last year i celebrated my birthday with him
and this year we didnt even wish each others birthday?
life sometime can be so cruel but we never knew what waiting for us at the end of the tunnel

and here i am facing another rejections after another
but this one is so special
ive been so close with him these past few months
we went to movies, shopping, eating out till late together
just the two of us
ive known him so long, we love to sing together in the car
even he knew my fav songs and verses

hes so kind and nice to me till i discover that i feel something special on us
between us
i was in misery for weeks wondering whether he has the same feeling too
and so one of my friend asking him do we have something special happening?

he said no, theres nothing happened between us
its just a pure kindness
a pure sincerity as friends
never in his life or his mind to take me to the next level
never. he said so.

i was crushed to the pieces
i know i shouldnt develop this feeling at the very first place
its my own fault
but im a normal girl, i have feelings too
i cant hide it nor i can refused it
when someone is being so nice to us, we sometime took it as an interest
as more than friends
plus we both feels so comfortable with each other

and there he is, saying im no more than friends
never than that
please dont misunderstood his kindness as he said

so here i am typing out my frustration on my blog for everyone to see
its tiring.
i just want to love and be loved again
thats the purpose of being on this earth isnt it?
life means nothing without it.

i love being single but at the age of 36 (my bday is yesterday), i want to start new
i want someone new
i want to be wanted, desired and loved

but thats not easy baby.
yg i nak, tanak ngan i
yg i taknak, menunggu jawapan i

well life is never easy
but ive been through divorced, so this rejection means nothing isnt it?
it hurts a little la tipu la tak langsung

sokay i can move on now.

thank you, next!

Ramadhan 2019

hi everyone.

Selamat berpuasa to all my readers.
Alhamdulilah dipanjangkan usia bertemu lagi di bulan yg mulia ini

Never came up to my mind that i would celebrate ramadhan alone this year
No one to wake up for, to bring water to, to cook and to serve for at iftar.
Sedih la tapi but after few days i feel nothing, numb.
Allah is the best planner. i put my believe in Him at the highest place.
If this is takdir, then i should be redha on it.

jangan sedih2. life must go on isnt it?

Today is third day of Ramadhan.
i went to bazaar cyberjaya yesterday and it was crowded!
not many stalls there i prefer putrajaya but its hard to find parkings
last2 karang i beli je lauk kat domain tu sedap pun sedap.

last night i went to teraweh with fatin and her boyfriend at Masjid Cyberjaya
i love the vibes, the feelings being at a mosque so serene
sangat menenangkan.
nanti nak pegi lagi lah even sorang pun soranglah.
kesah plak kan sbb nak tggu fatin ada dia tu keje kadang balik pun midnight.

so petang ni i plan to go to gym at 6pm.
nak buat briskwalk and run at least 1km.
macam semalam i buat briskwalk je for 3km.
tu pun berpeloh2 macam ape ntah but i felt so good!

dont stop exercising even puasa.
lagi bln puasa ni kalau exercise lagi senang nak lose weights :)

i lost 10kg already. such a huge achievement for me.
lets lose more kgs and gain more pahala during this holy month ok!

till next update dear readers.

Anugerah Juara Lagu 33

 hi yawlsss

here i am again updating from my cubicle.
actually i balik lambat sket today sbb at 6pm i ada kelas.
nanti la i cerita pasal kelas tu k hhehe

nak cerita pasal i pegi Anugerah Juara Lagu earlier this month
it was awesomeeeee!!
the venue was at Axiata Bukit Jalil
we were there before 6pm camtulah
terus kena q okay and it was super crazy long!!

me and azren. boleh plak sama kaler hehe

tengah busy q tu i saw this one gentleman so familiar to me because i followed him on IG
he is the famous emcee ive ever known and he's sarawakian as well
i was so excited seeing him tbh hahahaha
while my friends were like "sapeeeeee???"

hahahhaaa

here's the picture of me and him
mr hardy :)
i love how professional he is in his job
kalau u kenal u tau la sape his clients okay
i even DM him telling kalau ada jodoh lagi i nak dia jadi emcee i kawen hehehe
berangan! ntah berapa la starting price dia kan? hahhaa

dalam kol 830pm we slowly got inside!
and tell u guys gilaaaaaaaaa eksaited bahhhh mok masok axiata!
this is my first experience to watch AJL live!

just look at us! hahaha

i tak banyak amik pics masa dorang nyanyi sbb i wanted to enjoy the moment
tapi sempat je amik ig sto banyak2 hahaha
i love sufian suhaimi punya persembahan
gilaaaa best!
and i shed tears a bit tacingggggg sangat wehhhhh

siap pelamin atas stage ko haderrrr???

this one is khai bahar.
ensem angat hehehe

we stayed till the end eh of course la kan takkan nak balik terus ye dak?

i was rooting for misha, dayang&hael
kalau dorang menang i dah puas hati sangat

when the winner was announced i was soooo happy!
berbaloi i q panjang and lama gila tgk dayang menang ok!
i hilang suara kejap hahahaha

lepas je announce winner Juara Lagu i saw ismail izzani right in front me
terus nak selfie :D

and this pretty girl too :)
wany hasrita

here's the pic of them, the winner!
so proud of them, really! :D

i was trying to have a selfie with the hosts; aliff and sherry but they were busy
sempat tgk depan2 je tu pun dah cukup happy

saw many famous artists that night i was estatic!
star struck ntah brp kali tah hahaha
it was fun!!!
worth every minute i tunggu k hhehee

thats my short story of that day
i will remember this historical day for the rest of my life :D

till next update okay :)

take care